6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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