Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
