Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
