There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
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