Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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