Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
