i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Panties = found
Randomize
