The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
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