There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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