Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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