It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
