you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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