Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
