erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
