I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
