I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
