If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize
