I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
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