No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
