I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
