I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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