I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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