So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize