In the future we'll all be gay
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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