Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize