Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Randomize
