Porn is love you can see.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
