OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
