I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
