we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
