why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
