It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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