So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
