I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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