We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Do you have feelings for this penis?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
