I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
