you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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