I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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