I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
