We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize
