oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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