Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
