so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
