Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Randomize
