Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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