BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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