I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
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