Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
