Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
