nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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