Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
