everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
