stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
