I'm really into asian looking animals
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
