i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
