Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
