u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
barbara walters just said penis...
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
