I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
