it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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