I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I'm both gender and math confused
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
